Not a happy post.

My life sucks now. Nothing actually make me smiles.

1.Money
I have no money. I hate this. Why did ayah have to go. Why did ayah ever believe me with all that money. You gave my 6 weeks allowance to me. And you left. After 14 years of knowing me ayah,how can you not know i will not have money after only a few weeks. Now,i suffer while seeing people eat. Gosh :/

2.Friends.
Hey guys. I know like maybe i don't mean much or i mean too much till you guys are doing this to me,or rather us. I don't know bout others. But seriously,i'm sorry. I act foolishly. I did a mistake,that i,myself not proud of okay ? I felt bad. I do. Im sorry,if you guys felt ashamed of me for being like this. I WILL TRY TO CHANGE. I promise you that okay ? I will try. All I hope now is for you guys to accept me back,and act like normal. I don't want us to be like this ;(

3.Ayah.
Ayah,I miss you. I know how much i have said that i will get excited without you for such long periods of time. But when you're not here daddy,i sinned a lot ;( All this while,if you're here,i will think of you and that conscious came to me. But you left for a good reason kan ? I pray for you in every prayer. Allah loves you more than I do.

4.R,A,S AND N.

Dear R,

I know,somehow that you like me. It's pretty obvious i guess. Haha,you're a really a good friend. I like to be your friend. And that is all for now. Just to be clear okay ? What we did was nothing. Okay,not to say nothing,but yeah we will never be more than just GOOD friend okay ? Im so sorry. You're cute though. Haha,

Dear A,

You are so nice. And so loyal. I know you like me. You told me that since day 1. I kinda have that feeling too for you. But im not sure if i should build thgat feeling or let it be or even make them go away. We're so far away. With the age distance and all. You're cute. I like how you care so much about a loser like me. You're awesome kay ? And cute. I like you too. But im not sure where this is going. Im sorry,

Dear S,

I don't know what to say about you. You were suppose to mean something to me. But you don't care much about me. I'm not sure ,what are we now ? I really don't have feelings for you. I tried. But you failed me. But i don't want to feel guilty again. I've learned from my mistakes before. So im just going to let this situation into your hands okay ? Im sorry for not bothering. Im sorry.

Dear N,

I hate you the most okay. Of all people. You make me fell hard for you,and you just left. AND YOU ACT LIKE NOTHING EVER DID HAPPEN. You have the nerve to this to me. I have hurt so much. I thought you were the one who's gonna at least add the laughter,excitements and smiles in my shitloads of crap life of mine. But no,now you just add the misery to it. I don't know what's your problem. This is not funny. I have so much FIRST with you. I can even say my FIRST LOVE. At least,i thought it was. You lied. I sound pathetic but it doesn't matter anymore. How strong,how careless i could have seen on the outside. Trust me,it's not real. You break me on the inside. Things happened aite ? You can go on with your life and I will have nothing to do with it. But one day you'll see me on the sidewalks,i swear if you let me lay my eyes on you all i ever wanted to do is break you with my bare hands. So i'll be as fake as i can be,that is to act happy. Okay baby ? (:

AND TO D,C, WHICHEVER CHEAP PPL ON FB AND WHEREVER.
Good god can you guys please,please please stop disturbing me ?! This is getting annoying -.-

5. Exams.
So ,exams up to this point is going great ? I got the highest mark for living skills in my group. Mind you,i got the stupid group so tyeah it is still so low. Haha. MATHEMATIC PAPER 2. I was literally shaking when teacher was giving out the paper okay ? My marks was okay :'D I failed bfo,so yeah this was somewhat an improvement. SCIENCE AGAMA ENGLISH AND SEJARAH. Im gnna eat your guts out next week. Haha,wish me luck people ! Thanks.

6.NARISA FERINA

My best friend that have cared so much about me. So much. We care and love each other more than couples kay ? Best friend. I now know what bestfriend are like. They came to your house,brings you food cause you said you were hungry and you were sick. Yes you could cook the chicken a bit longer ,AHA :P But yeah. Who filled your evening with talks. Who never gets tired of you. Gives you loads of advice. But doesnt push you too much. Just enough. Words can't describe her. She's more awesome than candy. Maybe not but still HAHA :P She's there when im down and she's also there when i'm waaay up. She's wise. She always advice me to make a wise decisions. She's a great person :') She never fails to make me laugh without even trying. Yes,sometimes i look like a fool laughing by myself -.- I LOVE YOU NARISA FERINA ,my awesomely retarded friend

Yours truly,
Faizah Hassan .

Hurt

now i know we said things, did things, that we didn’t mean
and we fall back into the same patterns, same routine
but your temper’s just as bad as mine is, you’re the same as me
when it comes to love you’re just as blinded
baby please come back, it wasn’t you, baby it was me
maybe our relationship isn’t as crazy as it seems
maybe that’s what happens when a tornado meets a volcano
all i know is i love you too much to walk away though
come inside, pick up the bags off the sidewalk
don’t you hear sincerity in my voice when i talk?
told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball
next time i’m pissed ill aim my fist at the drywall
next time there won’t be no next time
i apologize even though i know its lies
i’m tired of the games i just want her back

ENOUGH SAID.