i want...

i want to not have Parkinson when im with her,
i want to stop mumbling infront of them,
i want to have something to talk about with them,
i want to hug her and act as if nothing happen just like she did,
i want to stand straight in front of crowds,
i want a smaller boobs so that when i do stand straight people dont go and say im "mendada",
i want to always be right,
i dont want a reason to laugh,
i want to be laugh at and join in the laugh,
i want more confident in everything,
i want to hold her hands and smile while holding it,
i dont want to act all cool while im so suckish inside,
i want to stop choosing friends,
i want to love who i love and stop caring about what people might think,
i want to be more mature in thinking about stuff,
i want to jump more sing more cry less and be more optimist,(be more?u never even have been so)
i want to stop my lazy attitude,
i want to start caring about my B-full result,
i want to have a heart for something and someone,
i want to stop hating her,

lastly,

i want you to guide me in doing all this,


numb my heart,stab it.make me heartless.then you can love me all you want.cause i know yre gonna hurt me.